Today's Reading
There was no place she loved more. It wasn't the gluten-free bread or cage-free eggs that drew her to the corporation masquerading as a mom-and-pop shop—it was the hypnotizing colors. Past the entrance, she rounded a tower of boxes with fat-free popcorn and stared at the lime-green, electric-blue, and neon-orange bottled teas and canned sodas sweating on their cold shelves. I'll be back soon.
Even though she didn't plan on buying any fruit, she took the escalator to the lower level and marveled at the bright, canary-colored bananas, waxy blueberries, and Satan-red strawberries all imported from subtropical parts of the country she'd never visited, but dreamed of seeing. At least once.
Baby kicked. "Okay," she said, gently knocking on her stomach like it was a door. "I get it." They were hungry. She went back upstairs, grabbed a strawberry cream scone from behind a plastic window, and settled on a coconut water she'd never had before, its glowing pink liquid irresistible.
Before entering a line, she considered each of the hanging signs above them bearing white arrows on red, blue, green, yellow, purple, and orange backgrounds. "What're we feeling today, love?" With no response from her unborn passenger, she closed her eyes and pictured a vast forest full of cabins, the sun filtering through pear-green leaves. Green it is. She smiled at the cashier as she parted with ten whole dollars, happy with how the day was turning out, despite that white woman's minor intrusion.
Instead of subjecting herself to a set of stairs that might as well have stretched as high as the Tower of Babel, she took an elevator up and settled down to eat her lunch. She watched the park through the store's windows and imagined that all of those people milling about only existed for her viewing pleasure; a thought that made her laugh, because, if only for a second, she believed it.
Then she noticed that Kathy was still on the bench where she had left her. Makeda's heart plummeted and her stomach turned, as though some interlocking mechanism inside of her was out of whack. She reminded herself that the white woman couldn't bother her now. Plus, from up here, she realized that Kathy's red and black outfit made her look more like a ladybug than a bone-chilling vampire, and everyone knows ladybugs are harmless. Only a few weeks ago, she had found a book at the Strand, Insect Symbols, which said that, in many cultures, ladybugs, also referred to as "ladybirds," were good luck, and that when you saw one you should make a wish.
She had learned to not put her faith in white people, but Kathy was no longer a menacing presence, she was now a sign of good things to come. Makeda closed her eyes, sweet cream icing still on her lips, like a funny mustache. I hope that you'll grow up to be someone, Baby. Much more of a someone than me, with a real home, a real family, and a life that's all your own. With her eyes still closed, she said, "Amen," but she didn't know why. A wish wasn't the same as a prayer, or was it?
When she opened her eyes, Kathy was gone. She wiped her mouth, tossed her trash, and took her time walking down the stairs, grabbing the wooden rail every few seconds so she could both rest and watch the people in line take their places under the colored signs, feeling an affinity for those who, like her, chose green that day.
"Got a name for the little one yet?" Her favorite security guard's deep Barry White voice always soothed her, as if he were serenading her with every word.
"Nope. I think I'll just wait until they arrive and name them whatever comes to mind. Could be Whole Foods, could be Manhattan, could be Subway, could be—"
"Slim."
Slim smiled wide enough to show that he still had all of his teeth. Makeda smiled back, wondering for the first time if he had a wife and children. She knew that he didn't speak to everyone like he spoke to her, and she saw him as a dad. "Now that you mention it, it could be Slim, yes. Has a nice ring to it. 'Slim'. SlimFast. Slim pickings. Slim Jim."
He laughed, no longer paying attention to the exit, and potentially allowing thieves to escape with oat milk and veggie burgers. "Or just Slim. Simple."
"I'll keep it in mind, but no promises."
"Wouldn't ask you to make one," he said, saluting her as she made her way out the second set of automatic doors.
"Slim," Makeda whispered to Baby, on the verge of laughter. "Do you like that?"
"You have to go to a shelter tonight."
Makeda looked up and flinched. It was her ladybug. In front of her.
...